Monday, October 17, 2005

Struggling

Well, doing my best not to let all my depressing thoughts take over my blog. But I guess as i`m the only one viewing it then it doesn`t really matter.

Thought i`d have a better day at work today now the 13th has come and gone. Felt really out of place tho. Kinda disjointed. Didn`t want to be there, do anything. Just didn`t want to be. I know the 13th should be like any other day. I miss my brother every day. It`s difficult to put into words, which kinda makes it all the more difficult when you want to write them down in a blog!

I feel so safe in my own home. Surrounded by the people and animals that rely on me, want me and are there for me. I try and put it down to the fact that I don`t want to work!, but it`s more than that. It`s different to the feeling I get when I just can`t be arsed to work. I think it`s just the time of year. Another 2 months and it would have been David`s birthday. Then it`s Christmas, then my birthday. Urgh, too many anniversaries to remind me i`m on my own.

There, I feel a bit better. Time to let go of the real world and sit on the internet for a while.