Friday, December 09, 2005

Up and down

In a little over a weeks time it should be my brother`s birthday. He would have been 33.

We should be growing older disgracefully.
We should be painting our Warhammer 40k models in readiness for him to beat me yet again on the battlefield, his Marines against my Orks.
We should be having marathon Red Dwarf-fests and eating too much pizza.
We should have been sitting infront of the tv on a Sunday when the World Superbike season was on screaming at which ever british rider was on a Ducati to win.
We should be going out on a Saturday night and I watch in awe as women giggle all around him.
I should have been getting him hooked on Neverwinter Nights so we can dungeon quest together.
I should be doing my best to explain the rules to Magic the Gathering.

But we won`t. And i`ll not do many of those things without him. I`m lost without his unending quick wit and jokes that we used to bounce off each other. Usually at the expense of my ex-wife. Not that she minded, she usually just slapped us round the head like two naughty kids.

And that`s how we were. Despite all lifes hassles we never really grew up. Why am I writing all this now?

I guess cos all these thoughts are bouncing around in my head. In a weeks time they might have faded into a frustrating mess inside my head. Jumbled up like the rest of my thoughts usually are.

I`m trying to decide how to spend the day. I feel like watching all 3 lord of the rings films back to back. Just curl up on the settee with the fire on and detatch myself from real life.

Sounds like a plan.