Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Old

I must be addicted to this blogging thingy.

I had this sudden urge to post something. The trouble is I have nothing to say really. Just this overwhelming need to type.

Of course it could just be because it gives me an excuse to use Ubuntu on my laptop. Have I mentioned I got Linux running on my laptop ;) I`ve even got Firefox 1.5 installed and running nicely. Of course I didn`t have a clue what I was doing. Thank God for wiki`s.

Ok, ok....no more Linux talk. Else i`ll in danger of having to add my blog to the Tech catagory!

Well, I would be if I knew what the hell I was doing half the time.

So i`m sprawled out on the settee watching The Games on C4. I`m in awe of Peter Duncan. At 51 he`s competing with lads half his age. And doing well as well.

But I bet he couldn`t get Linux to install. Ok, ok, I know. I`m the only one who cares.

Maybe i`m hitting a mid life crisis. Although I haven`t got the urge to buy a big harley and go round in leather all the time.

I was looking at my hands the other day; and they are starting to look old. I guess 15 years working with glass hasn`t helped. I blame my parents. If they stopped getting old then so would I.

It was my mum`s birthday at the weekend. It`ll be the big six oh next year. Sorry mum if you`re reading this. My dad is heading towards 70. 70! thats grandparent age. Not parent.

I think i`m scared. Scared of my parents growing old. My parents are still young in my mind. I find myself running through in my mind when I get the call that my dad is ill...or worse.

How i`m going to cope.
How i`m going to react.
Being there for my mum.

I`ve done this since after my brother was killed. I remember getting the phone call about his death like it was yesterday. It`s so clear in my mind.

I guess i`m preparing. I know it`ll happen one day.

I`m not obsessing over it or anything. Just every so often it hits me. So maybe it`s just me.

Maybe i`m just getting old.