Friday, June 16, 2006

Friday funnies

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem
to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's
dead."

There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold
your monkey for you."

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course.

He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows
down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have
ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."