It's 5am and i'm wide awake.
For some reason my brain is dumping images and memories of my brothers first crash.
He'd just woken up from intensive care.
It's not like it is in the movies.
People just don't wake up and start talking to you like they've woken up from a long sleep. Well maybe sometimes they do.
He didn't even recognise me. Couldn't speak.
It was one of the worst days of my life.
When was all this?
I really can't remember the exact date. Which might sound odd. But my brain is hopeless at retaining some information.
Zara sometimes thinks i'm lying to her about certain facts when they tend to change depending on how my brain relates to them.
t still no words
It was more like an animal looking at you. Looking towards where the sound was coming from.
But nothing else.
My stomach just knots up then.
He doesn't recognise me.
He has no idea who I am.
Bruising to the brain affected his speech.
But the rest....it's not like it is in the movies.
The nurse soon came in to explain everything.
She had wanted to warn us what we could expect before we went in.
But I guess I was just too impatient to see my brother.
So what's my brain doing?
It's not an anniversary of the event.
Certain times bring me crashing right down and I'm in my own little dark cloud for what seems like days sometimes.
Well i've got 2 hours before I have to get ready for work.
Time to try and sleep again. See what things my stupid brain brings forth for me to mull over.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
It's 5am and i'm wide awake.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Beware, this sounds bad.
I'm not usually one for posting warnings about scams but I had a near miss the other day.
I walked into B&Q for my 'daily' visit and some old guy, dressed all in orange, asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that was the end of that.
Those less suspecting might not be so lucky - be on your guard.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Damn you Deanna and your 'if you grew up in the 70s' email.
I've gone all dreamy of the days I grew up in a small village in the middle of nowhere next to the river.
Getting snowed in every winter and the school bus not getting through.
Only 3 tv channels, and still racing home on my bike on Saturday to watch the A Team, or the Hulk or the Dukes of Hazzard (which is being shown on Bravo and still is damn good to watch).
And despite only the 3 channels I had more tv to watch than I do with my 30+ channels; Charlie's Angels, Battlestar Galactica, Buck Rogers In The 25th Century, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Bionic Woman, Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea, Knight Rider, The A-Team, Kung Fu, CHiPs, The Fall Guy, Street Hawk, Logan's Run and The Man From Atlantis to name a few!
Going out to play with friends first thing in the morning and not coming home until tea was ready at 5pm. And actually having to walk or ride a bike to get anywhere.
Action Man was a real hero, and not some gimp with a snowboard like he is now. Losing the skin on my knuckles winding up the power wheel to release Evil Knievel on his motorbike.
Queuing up outside to watch Star Wars at the local cinema. And the film shown before the 'main feature' was about bikers/hells angels. And I decided then that I wanted a motorbike.
Never actually getting the hang of skateboarding. Despite having a cool book with lots of pictures showing you how to 'hang 5'
Buying 'Look In' for all the cool posters of bands like Boomtown Rats, Adam and his ants & Blondie.
Not even knowing what a computer was!
Being able to buy sweets for half a pence.
Saying flippng heck was classed as swearing.
I guess everybody feels like this about the decade they grew up in. Mine seems to span between 1976 and 1986 when I left school.
Everybody's years are the best to them.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Can't believe it's been nearly a week since my last post.
And I hope my reader(s) haven't been feeling neglected, but I can't say i've missed blogging.
It's just laziness. I'm out of the groove. I get settled in the bath ready to write another rant and then think, ahh, this is nice and warm. Relax.
And all the anger just washes away.
My hand hurts though.
I punched the shed door in a moment of frustration. I can't say i've been feeling particularly calm this last week or so. No one thing is to blame. Jut life I guess. Money. The usual things.
Living with a stubborn head strong, yet slightly indecisive girl doesn't help. Joking honey ;)
So i'm finally uploading the videos of us playing the wii over Christmas. It's still January so I think it still falls under the festive season umbrella. I'll blog them as soon as they're uploaded.
Which might be sometime in February going by my track record.
So there you go. After a week waiting for me to say something deep and meaningful you get a few lines of waffle.
Meh, Life eh.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
SYMPTOMS OF BEING OVER 25
1. You leave clubs before the end to "beat the rush".
2. You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing the night before.
3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.
4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.
5. All of a sudden, middle aged people are not 46, they are only 46.
6. Before going out anywhere, you ask whether there is anywhere to park.
7. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be alright for the DIY or in the garden.
8. You buy T-shirts without anything written on them.
9. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving Properties of most of the things that are in it.
10. You start to worry about your parents' health.
11. You have more disposable income, but everything you want or need to buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
12. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace And Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your children.
13. Pop music all starts to sound the same.
14. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they do a really nice half-bottle of house red.
15. You always have enough milk in.
16. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing, you instead frequent trendy bars and restaurants in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.
17. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
18. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
19. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.
20. You wish you had a shed.
21. You have a shed.
22. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that anymore" and "I remember when there were only 4 TV channels" and "Not in my day...."
23. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jeremy Vine has some really interesting guests on.
24. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, You tut at rowdy school children.
25. When sitting outside a pub you admire their hanging baskets.
26. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me
at 6:50 pm
Monday, January 15, 2007
BOISE, Idaho – Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter said Thursday he will support public hunts to kill all but 100 gray wolves in the state once the federal government removes the animal from Endangered Species Act protections, and that he hopes to shoot a wolf himself.
The Idaho Office of Species Conservation estimates the state's current wolf population at about 650, in roughly 60 packs. Otter told The Associated Press after a rally of hunters on the Capitol steps that he wants hunters to gradually kill about 550 of the animals, leaving about 100 wolves or 10 packs, the minimum the federal government would allow before wolves again would be considered endangered....more
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Ok, feel like I want to post, but as usual have nothing interesting to say. So here's a lazy post which I nicked from my very lovely friend Deanna's myspace page.
The weekend was full of playing on the Wii. And eating copious amounts of things covered in chocolate using Zara's chocolate fountain. Pictures/videos to follow if i'm not too lazy to upload them.
Drink: Smirnoff Ice
Alcohol See above
Bagel: plain with jam
Body Part on Opposite sex: Oh easy....tits
Pepsi or Coke: Neither really
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Both as bad
Strawberry or Watermelon: Urgh, fruit!
Hot tea or Ice tea: Neither
Chocolate or Vanilla Vanilla
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Hot chocolate
Kiss or Hug: Depends who it is
Dog or Cat: Cat
Rap or Punk: Punk
Summer or Winter: Summer
Scary Movies or
Funny Movies: Scary
Love or Money: Love, with money!
Bedtime: 11:00 - 12:00
Most Missed Memory: My brother
Best phyiscal feature: Umm
First Thought Waking Up: God, not work already!
Goal for this year: Make money
Best Friends: Zara
Weakness: Computer games
Fears: Losing loved ones
Longest relationship: 15 years
Ever Drank: yes
Ever Smoked: yes
Ever been Drunk: yes
Ever been beaten up: yes
Ever beaten someone up: yes
Ever Shoplifted: yes
Ever Skinny Dipped: no
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: yes
Been Dumped Lately: no
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: blue
Favorite Hair Color: blonde
Short or Long: long
Height: don't mind
Style: rock chick
Looks or Personality: Bit of both
Hot or Cute Cute
Drugs and Alcohol: Not too much of either
Muscular or Really Skinny: Bit of meat on her bones :)
Number of Regrets in the Past: None
What country do you want to Visit: USA or Italy
How do you want to Die: Quickly
Been to the Mall Lately: The where?
Do you like Thunderstorms: Ooh, yeah
Get along with your Parents: Yes
Health Freak: God no
Do you think your Attractive: No
Believe in Yourself: A little
Want to go to College: Yeah, easy life ;)
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Drink: Yes
Shower Daily: No...have a bath
Been in Love: Yes
Do you Sing: Badly
Want to get Married: Again!
Do you want Children: Nooooo
Hate anyone: Yes
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
As a complete Nintendo Fanboy and Wii nerd I couldn't help but blog this:
The score’s 40 to 0 and you’re two games down, risking an embarrassing defeat at the hands of your opponent. He’s warming up for his fourth consecutive power serve, and your palm is sweating. What do you do?...more
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Happy Birthday Zara
Sorry I'm not the type to wine you n dine you, I'm just no good at that sort of thing. Although I am hopefully going to make something with pasta later tonight.
And we have a ton of chocolate to melt on the chocolate fountain. So at least we can make ourselves violently sick; even if we can't watch Battlestar Galactica on our new LCD tv. Damn modern technology. You think they'd make em last more than a day!
So my day off work, and Zara's 25th has been a day of ups n downs.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
2 days in and I need another break from work already. My morning starts at:
7:10am Zara's Alarm goes off
7:15am My radio alarm goes off
7:20am My mobile phone alarm goes off
7:25am My mobile phone alarm goes off
7:30am My mobile phone alarm goes off
Ok, i`m getting out of fuckin bed.
7:55am Go to work
12:30pm Wake up
What happens between the hours of 8am and my dinner at 12:30 is a mystery. But i'm sure I must be working as I haven't been sacked yet.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
And another crappy New Year begins.
I'm full of cold. As soon as my holidays started I could feel it taking over my system. And now it's set up home in my head and keeps making banging noises and has installed cladding in the walls.
Anyway. Christmas was great despite all this. Oh, and Zara's wisdom tooth made a bid for freedom and has been trying to push it's way up. So she's not a happy bunny.
Anyway, yeah. Christmas. Copious amounts of alcohol were drunk. EU food size mountains were eaten. And cool presents exchanged. And we've still got a ton of food to get through. I think we went a little mad on the shopping.
So now I have books to read. DVD's to watch and Nintendo DS/PC games to play.
The Wii is way more fun than I imagined (Sorry to rub it in Carto). My parents came round Boxing Day and we played Wii Sports until we couldn't move. My mum was frighteningly good at it!
Then it was down to Oxford to stay at Zara's Dad's....
...ok, I'll stop typing for now.
Don't want to make this into a novel sized post.